Odd prose from medical reports

Home
About
Contact
Papers
Courses
Weird
Oddprose
Opinions

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes to his feet.

On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

She has had no rigours or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

I will be happy to go into her GI system; she seems ready and anxious.

Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.

The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.

Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

The patient refused an autopsy.

The patient has no past history of suicides.

The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.

The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.

The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.


Norman R. McBride, system administrator http://www.mono.org/~norm/ Monochrome: UK's largest BBS (voted #1 free BBS worldwide) telnet: mono.org "...the extreme case best illustrates the norm..." Stephen King