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How to write a 500 word essay and say nothing

Jamal Munshi, Sonoma State Univesity, 1992
All rights reserved

Sources: "The phrase dropper's handbook" by john t. beaudouin and everett mattlin, doubleday and company, ny, 1976; scott adams; and student papers

the bullshit equation
bullshit = randomPhrase(group1) + "," + randomPhrase(group2) + randomPhrase(group3) + randomPhrase(group4) + "."

group 1 phrases

  • in particular
  • on the other hand
  • however
  • similarly
  • a s a result
  • thus
  • in this regard
  • for example
  • with respect to the specific goals
  • based on overall systemic considerations
  • in summary
  • basically
  • essentially
  • it is our democratic belief that in spite of trickle down effects
group 2 phrases
  • any integrated strategy for competitive advantage
  • a proactive mean-variance efficiency approach
  • emerging mission critical marketing strategies
  • the education-osmosis cognitive framework
  • a large portion of the interface coordination communication
  • a constant flow of effective information
  • the characterization of specific criteria
  • the initiation of the critical linkages
  • a fully integrated plan of action
  • the primary baseline case
  • any associated supporting element
  • full compliance with the mission statement
  • incorporation of any additional theoretical constraints
  • the principle of "functional independence"
  • a secondary inter-relationship between related objectives
group 3 phrases
  • must utilize and be functionally interwoven with
  • maximizes the probability of project success and minimizes the cost and time required for
  • adds explicit performance limits to
  • necessitates that urgent consideration be applied to
  • requires considerable risk analysis and what-if studies to arrive at
  • is further compounded when taking into account
  • presents extremely interesting challenges to
  • recognizes the importance of diversification effects and the necessity for
  • effects a significant implementation of
  • adds overriding performance constraints to
  • must explore new paradigms for
  • will filter, communicate and evangelize the findings toward
group 4 phrases
  • the real and perceived benefits to globalization
  • the realities of the the global marketplace
  • the quality implementation of methodologies
  • the anticipated compatibility rationale
  • the evolution of specifications over a given time period
  • the effectiveness measures that are normally applied in these cases
  • the discrete configuration mode
  • the mission triad of "authority", "linguistics", and "message"
  • the application of ecological paradigms
  • the philosophy of commonality and standardization
  • the government's requirement for competitive bidding
  • agency costs in the greater societal context
  • the higher good of providing for society while protecting individuals